i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Alive.
So much puke
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
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