I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
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