You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Randomize
