your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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