We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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