How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
