sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize