Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize