Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
