You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
