lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
