the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Randomize
