HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Randomize
