I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Randomize
