i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
