Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
