I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
