I will die if light touches me.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize