I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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