Duck Duck Cougar?
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
