Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
