Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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