I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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