plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
