but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize