I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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