i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Randomize
