The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
whose ass print is on the piano?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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