Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
