kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
