Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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