I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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