he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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