wakey wakey hands off snakey
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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