I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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