your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
