The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
You left your phone here
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