I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
The adults are the big ones right?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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