Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Randomize