I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
me + whiskey = a bad person
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
i am craving dick and cupcakes
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
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