wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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