a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
