...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
