now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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