i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
