My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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