let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
