It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
