This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Randomize
