I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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