Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
