There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
