don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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