if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Randomize
