Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
