The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
It's not a walk of shame if you run
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