her vagine was all disorganized.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
