Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
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