garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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