thus making me awesome and them whores
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Randomize
