I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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