bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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