Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
