okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
