Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
He uses pillows to masturbate.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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